The 5 Reasons Why I Wasn’t Losing Weight for Over 10 Years
I’m going to disclose the reasons why I wasn’t losing weight for over 10 years. Maybe even 20, actually. Thinking of it, I’ve been trying to lose weight my entire life. That’s how HORRIBLE and PERSISTENT the general and accepted message of being “thin” (instead of “healthy”), is.
In the course of my life, I haven’t really tried that hard or that much. I haven’t gone the gym (2 months in my twenties) or gone through countless diets or done boring home workout sessions. My problem was always more obvious than this. My problem was my quiet obsession with food.
Being Slim is NOT My Life Goal Anymore
Very recently, in the last couple of years or so, it didn’t matter to me anymore. One day I realised I was just tired of it all. I wanted to be slim and healthy but no longer lost any sleep about it or worried about how long it might take me to get there or how much effort I should exert this time. That’s probably exactly when and why things began to change for me. It was a quiet change. But it was definitely there.
Today I look better, I feel better and I’m losing weight inadvertently. Being slim is not my life goal any more. It is a goal, but NOT my life goal. I for so long wanted to be slim that I simply forgot that I don’t really care that much about my weight, and probably haven’t cared that much for quite a while now. Being slim is an old wish, a long gone dream, that no longer has any bearing on me. Being slim is just a nice thought. The power of slimness is gone.
I’m not here to tell you what has worked. I think I’ll leave that for another post. I’m here to tell you what DID NOT work in the past.
The 5 Reasons Why I Wasn’t Losing Weight for Over 10 Years
Here we go:
1. I Would Lose Weight but Didn’t Realise I was Losing Weight… So I Would Stop
And so I stopped being conscientious about the type of food I was eating. All I had to do was to be patient and keep going! But I didn’t. I got bored. It wouldn’t last long until eating unhealthily would creep right back. Before I knew it, I was back at it.
I now realise I DO lose weight slowly, as I eat well day by day, one mouthful at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time. You see, nowadays I’m not in a hurry.
2. I Wasn’t Eating “Real Food”
For a long time I’ve was buying food at the grocery store or supermarket, which is exactly where you won’t be able to find real food. Everything has been processed, pre-packed, comes from different places all over the world inside cold containers. Even the food that is labelled as “healthy” is anything but healthy. Read the labels.
I now eat the green leaves and other veggies from my garden. I cook every day. I somehow don’t seem to find daily cooking stressful or boring or a hassle. It flows. My cooking gets better every week. Faster. Simpler. Tastier. I cook 2-3 times a day and I don’t even notice.
3. I Was Having Too Many “Off” Days
This is a dangerous one! I was having one “off” part of the day once a week. Then it would turn into one “off” entire day every week. Then it would turn into a “weekend”. Eventually, every day I would have something naughty. Then, I would rarely cook or eat healthily. Having “off” days also means that I’m waiting for them. Which means I’m not enjoying how or what I eat on the “non-off” days. Big mistake. Eating healthy, cooking what I eat, picking my leaves from the garden… that’s the best “off” day ever! I get to experiment with spices and ways of cooking… Loving my wok as we speak by the way. And, the better I eat, the less I think about unhealthy foods. I don’t seem to get excited about them any longer.
4. I Had Lost Trust
I knew that “trying” to eat well would never change. I knew it would never happen. It’s like having a good job, making lots of money and you know at the end of the day that you will do nothing with your money but spending it on many things you don’t really need. You know that if you don’t change something about yourself, something deep within you, you will never change. You will never be healthy.
I lost my trust in the fact that I was not able to change anything about myself in regards to my weight, no matter how much I tried and how much effort I put in. I had succeeded in changing my psyche and connecting with Nature and the Universe in a way that I can’t explain here (that’s for a different type of post) but for the life of me, I couldn’t change my way of eating. The thought of not eating tasty foods for a long period of time was too much. So I lost trust. I wasn’t putting the effort in. I was not interested. I was just following an old thought: “I need to lose weight”. The thought didn’t really have gravitas any longer. It didn’t hold any weight to it, pardon the pun.
5. I Never Really Wanted to Exercise
Exercise… ouch, that obscene word! My body just wasn’t ready… or maybe “it” was, but I wasn’t. I didn’t know how to do it. I just didn’t do it. Even just the thought of doing it was uncomfortable! Anything that felt a bit like activity, I would avoid. When I was younger not exercising was fine because I moved about a lot. Now that I’m older I started feeling the aches and pains.
Nowadays I move around in my land as much as I can. I try to be very active in growing my vegetables and doing things around the house. Which means I have to move A LOT!
So, What Has Changed?
I started to move. Slowly, slowly, slowly.
I started exercising with my body, not just my mind. I also started to feel my body and so I know when it feels uncomfortable or in pain or when I need a break and it’s all good again. My body is incredibly connected with the Universe and Nature. If I feel something is not right, I touch base with myself and try to fix it. I don’t fix myself with food. Slowly that has been disappearing from my habits.
I don’t diet. I hate that word. It makes me feel hungry. My body now wants good, healthy, homecooked food. It doesn’t want junk. I also know that “not eating junk” is not a diet. I also know that if I’m having a piece of chocolate or a slice of birthday cake, it’s OK. I used to get really upset if at some point during the week, I would go off-plan. Now, if it happens, it’s fine! It’s normal. No drama. I don’t plan “off” days, but when they happen, I barely remember them.
A few tips that have worked for me:
1. I identify when I’m full
I eat only what I need. I find this to be very important. When I feel full, I stop. Do I always succeed? Hell no. Many, many times I find myself not stopping, but THE POINT is that I would have identified the exact moment I was full and when the next bite was not a necessary bite. This leads me to stop more times than not.
2. I DON’T have breakfast!
So many years I worried about this. Thinking I had to follow some sort of unknown “rule” where breakfast is a must. Well, I have never been able to digest it properly. I get really bad diarrhoea. I can’t eat anything til 12 or 1pm. So, guess what, I simply don’t have breakfast anymore.
3. I eat when I’m hungry
I no longer plan when I am going to eat. I don’t have any kind of routine. I just eat when I’m hungry. Simple. I’m hungry usually between 1-3 pm and 10-11 pm. So, my body has its own lunch and dinner clock.
4. I DON’T eat when I’m not hungry
And, when I do, it is a lot less often than it used to be. I’m able to identify when I’m eating but not from hunger. Identifying, again, is the key. Over time it forces you to listen to what you’ve “seen” and follow through. So, in general, I don’t eat if I’m not hungry.
5. I don’t worry about food at all
I stopped thinking about food all day. I never realised how much I was thinking about food. In my 20s food was probably the thing I would think about most. This went unnoticed at the time, although it was so time-consuming. Because I stopped thinking about food all day I now have time to think about other things in life. I didn’t realise in the past how persistent the thinking around food was until it started to disappear. So watch out if you’re in this situation.
6. I don’t exercise thinking about weight loss
I work in my land very often. It’s hard work. I enjoy it, but not always. It doesn’t matter, trees and plants need my attention and I give it to them. I like to see them grow and I go about doing things which makes me move and exercise and, yes, sometimes I even, dare I say it: sweat. I do it because I’m interested in my garden and I like to work on it. Sometimes it feels like exercise and sometimes it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter.
7. I don’t have a goal for any of this
I went about improving what was wrong with me in a way that was not directed and forceful at all, but rather gentle and flowing. My mind was no longer directing me towards losing weight or exercising, but towards finding the right path for myself. And it worked.
8. I don’t measure, count or weigh anything
I stopped obsessing over how my body looked and I accepted that it is how it is. It’s useful to know what I look like in the mirror (I still always find myself hideously overweight) but I know this is not true, just a perception. Yes, I’m not the ideal weight, but that’s irrelevant nowadays. A look in the mirror will give you an idea of the general shape of your body and an idea of your relationship with food. But don’t get obsessed.
9. Oh, by the way, I NEVER weigh myself
10. I eat from my garden and from my pots
That’s what I do. It is a nice treat to eat from my garden.I learn about the plants and I eat them accordingly. As I work in the garden, I enjoy little “treats”. As I water I eat. Nibble nibble nibble… Eating from my garden and pots makes it more fun.
What Else Can I Add?
I’m not going to list my meals right now. They’re never planned but also they’re quite simple. I eat lots of vegetables and try to eat a variety of fresh fruits. I like to eat whole grains, but not every day. I eat pulse at least once a week. Lots of nuts and eggs (I don’t eat fish or meat – no dairy either). I also drink water from my Britta jugs and make different types of teas. Today I made lemon and ginger tea, with honey from my beehives.
Tomorrow, who knows?
Love,
Patri ❤️💕
